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She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I took a picture of you in your bra and panties this morning, and Karen slyly got plenty at the party last night. You wouldn't want everyone to see them, would you?" My heart sank. I was really tied into it now. I gulped and dug my own grave, "Yeah, I'd love to." "Great! We'll have a proper girly night for all that love in the air!" In honesty, that did sound appealing to me... what was happening? We were rapidly nearing school, and I needed a way out. "Oh Chris! Can you drop me off at the shop, the one a few blocks from school?" Ingenious. "There's one just down the road, I'll drop you there so you have less of a walk," he replied. Ever the gent it seemed, damn him. I had to think quick, "No no! Erm, that shop won't serve me, I need some smokes." "Okay, fair enough," he replied, making a quick detour, "you want us to wait for you?" He asked kindly. "No thanks!" Phew, avoid school, complete. He pulled up by the shop and I. I am a fool. I have betrayed John and my children. What have I done? I do not love Rod or the way he uses me. Yes, he DOES use me. I am just a sex doll to him.A little further.I hate myself. The pain will not go away. I can dull the pain but it always comes back. John must never find out. I am unforgivable.Another day. I was careless. I almost left a bottle in the living room when he came home. I shouldn't drink but I can't live with myself.I had two distinct emotions. I had an even greater love for Lisa and what she had to go through. I despised Rod.I grabbed my wallet and keys. I was going to beat the shit out of Pastor Rod - excuse my language. I got to the door.What was this going to accomplish? At best, it lands me in jail. There was enough doubt in Lisa's diary that there was no way Rod would get convicted of rape. Had he done this before with other women?On Sunday, I dressed up and went to church. Everyone who hadn't already expressed their condolences did. I pretended to be.
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